Our Home Ed Journey

Although school would probably say otherwise, I didn’t think it was the right fit for my son. Logan would often come home and have violent and destructive melt downs. In 2019 I went to the GP regarding his behaviour, she agreed that he had a lot of autistic traits and handed me some forms for school to complete. They never did, they were adamant that his behaviour was that of a ‘normal’ child, what ever that maybe. As time went on things got worse, the melt downs more frequent, and my mental health really began to suffer. I continued to ask school for their support, they did bits here and there but things didn’t really change much. All they kept saying was that they didn’t see any worrying behaviours in school. Do they not know what masking is? Anyway, I went down the right to choose scheme after hearing about it from a colleague. In the run up to the autism assessments, the police were called on several occasions for him running away and being violent. All these phone calls to the police finally triggered something and we were referred to the Early Help Services. I found our helper rather patronizing to begin with, telling me I needed to do parenting courses etc. As she spent more time with Logan and I, she began started to see more and more of his traits. I was beginning to feel validated. And in the summer of 2024 aged 9, he was diagnosed with ASD.

I can not begin to explain the feeling of relief I felt once Logan had been diagnosed, my suspicion and intuition confirmed. I emailed school on the first day back after the summer holidays informing them of the diagnosis and asking for a meeting to be set up with the SENCO. Finally my son would get the support he needed, or so I thought. I met with the SENCO and parent support worker to discuss what could be put in place, asking how they could support him thrive? As he wasn’t seen to be struggling academically, they didn’t really want much to be put in place. Knowing that my son is a chew, having eaten his hoody sleave the year before I asked if they would be able to provide him some chewable fidget toys, they agreed. The first week of school was a nightmare, screaming in a morning, refusing to go, but things seemed to settle a little after that, for a while anyway. Soon he was coming out of school up set and not having anything positive to say. I kept communication open with school but in the November nothing seemed to have changed. My son was struggling. I informed our early help worker that he was not wanting to go to school, he was fed up of being told off all the time amongst other things. She contacted school and a couple of days after we had a TAF meeting. For the first time ever the head teacher sat in. It was during this meeting, when the head said she thinks everyone is autistic, that I lost all respect for her and the school. Not long after this the early help closed. I kind of felt abandoned.

As time went on nothing much changed. The Christmas holidays were just around the corner and with it would come meltdowns and destruction. I dreaded the holidays. In the space of two weeks he broke, three TV’s, one laptop and one tablet. I was covered in bites and bruises including a lovely black eye and the police were called out. What a way to start the new year! On the first day he went to school fine. I went in to the office I worked and broke down crying as one of my plants had died. It was then I phoned the doctors, I knew I needed support for me. I was put on anti-depressants and given a sick note for two weeks. The time off did me the world of good but the medication didn’t, I ended up being quite ill with them. So after visiting A&E I stopped taking them. As the weeks went on Logans behaviour deteriorated again. I was at braking point, referred back to early help despite me contacting social services and asking for a social worker. Not long after the police were called once again, I couldn’t take anymore. I was constantly walking on edge shells trying to avoid anything that could cause a potential melt down. I asked the police to take him for the night, but they wouldn’t because of his age. I spoke with my GP and was prescribed so different anti-depressants and I self referred to Talking Therapies. After my assessment with them it was suggested that I was suffering from PTSD and I was put on a waiting list to take part on a 6 week well being course. We met with our new early help worker, we spoke about home educating amongst other things. And what did she say, well you can’t do that. Who was she to tell me I couldn’t do something? This only made me more determined. February half term was fast approaching and at the start of the final week of school my son some how injured himself and found himself unable to work. I took him to A&E and they told him to rest up. For him the holidays started early, for me the nightmare did. Luckily I had a very understanding employer who gave me the flexibility to work from home when needed. Things had calmed down at home, there seemed to be less stress in the atmosphere. Before we knew it the holidays were over and it was time to return to school. Logan however had other ideas, and decided that he was being home educated. I can’t say I was shocked, I had told him that we would start our home ed journey after the Easter holidays, after I’d been made redundant and had the time to focus on his needs. I tried for several days to get him to go back to school for that short period of time, but he wouldn’t. So rather than getting daily phone calls from school, I plucked up the courage and deregistered. him